meet me #4

I used to be smart...
Valedictorian of my junior high, model student, brilliant tester.

Not really anymore.

High school is thoroughly disappointing me. I'm only a freshman (GASP! didn't know that, now did you?) at my lovely new school. It's a governor's school, a.k.a. worse than IB, worse than your worst scholastic nightmare.Why am i flailing and failing so utterly at this utopia of academic excellence? Surely i should feel lucky to be here, and take nothing for granted, and work my ass off for no reward.

It's boring. I don't know if that's really the proper use to use but it's boring. It seems to me to be pointless. It not what i want to do..
I don't EVER want to know how many different chromosomes are in humans, or want to have to use that knowledge! Or how to find the cosine of a triangle, or a circle, or whatever you find a cosine of. I don't even know. I understand that it is the stepping stone to get to college. But do i really necessarily want to go to college.. Well probably.
It most likely stems from my other odd thoughts and decisions, like the fact i don't want to live past 30. To me  that means my life is halfway over, and i've spent that half of my life in school, doing things i don't like that will actually never really help me, and it all just seems like such a waste of time, life, and effort. I have a pretty clear idea of what i want to do with my short life and that stuff isn't included. It isn't even in the vague outline. 100% irrelevant!

It all just seems pointless...

i want to live like an unemployed person, or a retiree. I want to take up the days with new dance classes, either a menial job or a worthwhile job i'd be excited to go to, even though it's hard, to do nothing really but sew and shop and i know i sound so very very ignorant but i just want to do what i want.
I don't mean that in the independent way, i mean in the i'd rather sing or dance or act or sew or hell, maybe even blog fulltime? i jest. but you get the idea.

feel free to ignore this entire post, it's just me rambling after a week of exams and looking at my online reportcard. 



reasons i stopped following your blog

As of late, i'm having trouble reading all of the blogs i am subscribed to. When i subscribe to a blog, it means i genuinely want to read what you are writing or posting. I'm going through and unsubscribing to a bunch of a blogs, to fix my little problem. In case you're curious why you did or didn't make the cut...

Reasons i stopped following your blog:

  • Your content just isn't interesting me anymore
  • You have completely sold out, and i mean that in the nicest way possible (giveaway from my sponsor this, giveaway from my sponsor that, sponsor sponsor sponsor)
  • Your genre of blogging isn't really appealing to me as much as it used to (i.e. crafting blogs)
  • Your content is okay, but with more than 5 posts a day, it's just kind of annoying at this point
  • I actually don't LOVE your content, but i was trying to help you get started because you're a bit of a friend of mine and i did you a nicety. 

This all sounds very very bitchy, i know. And i may just be stressed but i'm very sorry. I am just bombarded with feed from more than 350 blogs. 

As of late i have also stopped commenting on blogs as frequently.

Reasons i have not commented recently:

  • all of my comments run together with everyone elses (i.e. You look gorgeous!, Lovely blouse!) and i'm just not contributing much
  • i don't want to come off as insincere with a comment like those listed above. i honestly mean whatever i write.
  • i don't have anything to say.

That's all.

meet me's resume tomorrow, enter the blog makeover.



birthday: revisited

i was caught off guard by the timer.

the tulle in this dress fulfills my wildest burlesque desires when i prance around in it. it's so fucking awesome.

 a few of my favorite things.

 a dainty ring.

 last week's gorgeous thing.

nude/lace dress - a gift from friends, via rumors, $28  (they left the price tag on. lovable retards.)
vintage beaded necklace - a gift, via my mother
distressed leatheresque jacket - thrifted, $5!
diamante studded ring - rue 21, $8

l'oreal lipstick in blazing sangria (714)
juju hearts (like swedish fish in heart form)
pier 1 peacock frame
thin silver ring
vintage beaded necklace

gorgeous thing:
bejeweled brooch from luxor vintage

Sorry for all the weird different tones in my pictures. I believe that 90% of a good photo is editing. i'm an odd child.
I would also like to not that in the process of this shoot, i lost the cap to my lipstick. Oops. And it is a true red; not magenta as in the first picture.


i over-exaggerated a week and a half ago. i was just quite mopey over my audition. but i did receive a call back and a dancing part. if you're familiar with Guys & Dolls, i am a Hot Box girl! woot.


On a completely separate note, i would like to apologize. I've been M.I.A. lately because of exams. They haven't been as bad as i thought there were going to be, and my hardest ones are over, but it's been a little stressful. I skipped all posts during the week this week, sorry, but i am going to try and resume them as of now.

(don't forget to enter the blog makeover giveaway; giveaway closes on Valentine's Day, sorry i never specified that before)


rara wears, vivatramp;, the velvet bow

this week's three:
1) Rachel from Rara wears :

The dear is gorgeous. Needs a little more light and detail in your pics, but hey, what can you do? Not much. I understand what happens with a crappy camera. Her outfits are darling, and she is just so very gorgeous... i know i seem to say that about a lot of people, but you know, it's true. It sounds so very superficial but it's something i immediately notice about a person. 

2) Bee from vivatramp;. I swear this girl is simply the sweetest. Her blog is fantastic. A daily read of mine. I love all of her lists and just....... her. She's great.

3) Jessie from The Velvet Bow
I. love. her. blog.

If you haven't noticed, all my comments about my featured bloggers are beginning to run together.. I just think the same thing about all of them. "Wonderful!" or "Lovely!" or "So very great and just amazing!" or "CUTE SHOES!". Meh. So i'm either going to just stop making comments, or just feature one lovely lady per week w/ an interview. But considering my weird social awkwardness, i probably won't do the interviews.


i love this blog. i do. it's been so great to have a weird little outlet, all of  my own. it feels unique, and i know i'm hardly the first (probably one of the last) person to get a blog.

but it felt personal. and good. like i needed it.

but now, after telling maybe a few friends... they're all sharing my link. and there's just shit on here i don't necessarily want people to see. An it's just... i just want to say "I'm sorry, i didn't fucking invite you over here. I wouldn't tell you this in person, so go away." I wanted to be able to pick who, out of those i know in person, gets to know my innermost thoughts and most of all ISSUES. 

I am very open about it all. I know that i am. Especially considering I don't mind sharing with strangers. But i would just like to say that i prefer most all of you with your internet personas to those at school. I'm growing so tired of it. And i hate it.

This doesn't mean i'm leaving the blog. This is just a message to those who know who they are. 

Stop it. Stop doing things that make me want to punch you. Because i will.


You guys are really really great. I've gotten less feedback on my whinier posts, but that's explanatory. And i am still looking for that perfect thing for the 50 followers giveaway! Still trudging around shops, still looking.. I need to find the perfect thing. i HAVE to.
But to make up for it.... OUTFITS. Possibly. by that i mean almost definitely.

I've signed up for Kendi's 30 for 30 Winter Edition remixing. 

That means i HAVE to get my act together.

Tomorrow i go into cleaning and laundry. Big time.

don't forget blog makeover giveaway.


i've fallen from grace, fallen from trees, fallen on my face

so today was my birthday. 

why do i look super depressed with my venti peppermint mocha latte? it's my birthday! hell, one day out of 365 should go perfect, right?

not today, dears.

sorry to shatter any illusion and innocence about the magic of the zodiac or luck but if there's one thing i'd wished for most lately...

No, stupid. not those. 

...Well, yeah, those.

But my audition. That was today. And it couldn't have gone worse. I'm so awfully disappointed in myself.

When i am in a little bit of a less morose mood.. i will show you the goodies i garnered.. including a great little number from some of my best friends.. ♥

*cringe*... but anyways, i hope you all had a lovely day today.
don't forget the layout giveaway.



meet me #3

i am obsessed with like birds. especially peacocks, my favourite animal, and sparrows. and fat doves.
très élégantThe Top The Best | Most Amazing Images on the WebMeaningless Wordsi am rather glad its not raining today | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

and i love how i can incorporate audrey hepburn into ANYTHING.

they can fly, swim, and walk. aren't they just the cat's pajamas? not literally of course, because the cat would eat them. yay for bad jokes.
as of late, i'm even more enamored with them. they're been appearing everywhere, from the fabulous pamela love creations all my favourite englanders have been chatting about nonstop, to katy perry singing that incessant song that is 'supposedly' about my favourite bird. but birds are a few of my favourite things.. especially kate wilson's birds. they (and she) make me giggle with joy. 

(all pictures above belong to kate)

come on, try and tell me how the bird in the YSL mohawk pump isn't the most adorably fashionable thing you have ever seen.
and i really really want a pamela love talon necklace. really badly. so damn expensive.. or one of the skull pendants! they have some look-a-likes on etsy, no cheaper though.

drool. i need a towel just to even look at these.

and.. lastly.. my latest sub-obsession...
the feather collective. yes, ladies and gentlemen, these are real bird wings. converted to brooches. and i am so very madly in love with them. what kind of twisted alleged vegan am i?!

i want them. i don't really care much for the feathers in test tubes, because, hell, i could do that. not very nice quality but you get the picture. but the wings are just so dainty and gorgeous.. it's like UN-tacky taxidermy. except no stuffing. or weird glass eyes. shudder.



noir nouvelle, molto fashion, valentine

three lovely ladies of the week:

Lauren, of Noir Nouvelle. Another brit. I swear they have the best style blogs. I can't think of what to say about her besides that i love her blog. She is so uniquely gorgeous, and has this great quality. Can't put my finger on it. 

Claudia Paola, of Molto Fashion. She is just so gorgeous. She loves cat eye glasses, and she rocks the red lipstick. I know i obsess about everybody's lipsticks, but i can't pull of anything vivid or bright or super. Therefore, i'm jealous. She's a worthwhile read, too.

Valentine of Valentine. This one encompasses all things parisian, all things stylish, she's just great. I usually don't feature people with 1000+ followers just because i like to help out my favorites who are lesser known, but goodness this girl is stunning. Her blog is in french, but if you use google chrome (Reppin') it translates it for you! Heheh.


Like the new layout? well, then have i got a giveaway for you!

Meet Ella Press. This lovely Argentinean has arranged for three of my readers to get complete blog makeovers. She specializes in minimalism, but she's super nice and wonderful and agreeable and sweet so i bet if you asked en una manera agradable (in a nice way) she'd do whatever your heart wishes! no promises though. it's up to her. 

But isn't she great? She does this wonderful layout for me, gives it, and organizes for you all to get new layouts. So very sweet of her.

Rules of the giveaway!
1) must be a follower of {accoudrements}
2) must leave a comment on this post that includes your email and blog address

That's all. The winners will be chosen randomly from random.org, so don't fear favoritism! 


The last night of my current show is tomorrow.. I've had such a wonderful time with this group, and I'm sad it's ending, but i'm so tired all the time so maybe it's for the best. The show's been running seamlessly, and i am so happy to have been a part. Even a minor one. 

I have a three day weekend, and, like a good blogger, i will post. I love you all, thanks lovely readers.



baroque band

(anybody see the glitter in the shadow? that's my failure at trying to have a neat photo.)

Remember when i said i was to acquire at least one gorgeous thing a week? This was mine from last week.  

There i sat, just in my room, looking at my weak collection of rings. I want mooooore. I need mooooore. Then i got a little package sent from one of my grandmothers. She's big on the gaudy jewelry. I sifted through and found this little stunner. Isn't it cute? The garnet (my birthstone), the little blue stones, oh i just fell in love. and to think, i got it for free! So that's my gorgeous thing from last week. This week i haven't really been shopping or anything.. But since my birthday is next week, maybe I'll receive something gorgeous. 

On another side note, i'm heart-wrenchingly close to 50 followers. Expect at least 3 giveaways in the future: 
1) A certain little layout giveaway from a darling lady named Ella Press
2) A birthday giveaway -- I really don't enjoy the holidays, but i go all out for birthdays. And for my birthday, i'm planning on going thrifting and antiquing a little. And, one lucky reader (or maybe two, or three, depends on what i find!) will get something wonderful.
3) A 50 followers giveaway! It'll be in a while, after I hit 50 of course.

But just expect some things for you all! And i know that i've been a poor blogger, but after exams are through (i have them in a week or two) and after my school's musical auditions (i've been trying to prepare for these since the school year started -- It's Guys & Dolls, a favourite of mine, and i want the part of Adelaide so badly. I know i won't get it, but i might as well give it my all.) I'll be a lot less stressed and have some more free time.

Once again i just want to thank the wonderful followers and even the non-followers who gave me such wonderful strength and feedback on my first meet me post. I know i sound like a broken record/bad greeting card, but it means a lot. 

After i get off my lazy ass, there will be outfits. Among other things.. 

orkut -



greer, laura jo cuddy, lightdrivemysoul

I only have a few minutes before it's Saturday here, so i guess i need to get on with my follow friday. today's three ladies are:

1) greer. Just lovely. no, not lovely. divine.

2) Laura Jo Cuddy. Yet another lovely. love her lipstick and her entire closet.

3) Sea. She's so amazing, with a great name to fit. she has the style i want mine to evolve to be.

that's all (for today), folks! it began to snow here tonight, so i might not have rehearsal tomorrow, maybe an outfit post and some nail paint colours... etcetera. have a splendid weekend, lovely readers.

oh, and i'll have to show you all my gorgeous thing of the week, as written in my new years resolution list!


meet me #1

i've decided you don't know me. i mean, how should you? i'm a jumble of words on a white page littered with weheartit pictures, clothing, and other people.

i kind of am feeling that i need to express a more personal element. i know that you all pretty much know my deepest desires already from my christmas list to my resolutions, but every monday from now on, i'm going to have a little article that stems from something i am very close to.


i feel fat lately. i can just feel it. since school started, i've gained almost ten pounds. it's bothering me.

as a recovering anorexic, it's simply not something i can ignore. it's a very big deal to me, and i simply can't defy it. but then i started to think: when exactly did my anorexia develop; why? 

it was when i decided i wanted to be in the fashion industry.

more specifically, i wanted to be a model. but i eventually looked in the mirror and came to the conclusion that i was too short and ugly. but then i discovered that i had a way of being 'pretty'. skinny became the equivalent of pretty to me. i fasted, fainted, all of it. and it was hell. and i continued to do it. developing an eating disorder was probably planned in my future anyways, as i have high anxiety and familial history of rather pudgy people. 

it was killing me. almost literally. around 5'5'', 85 lbs. i got to the point where i was just too tired. and eventually, although i am sure she knew about the eating, my therapist put me on a new medication, which calmed the anxiety and the disorder.

the main point i am trying to make is that to any one who wants to be in the fashion industry, wanting to be in it is almost suicidal. if you're strong, you're set. but myself, and many others, simply aren't. one wants to abandon reason and just be the 'best' and i feel like for a lot of people becoming skinny IS equivalent to being pretty. it's a quick solution; and easy way to 'fix' the genes you may or may not be cursed with. it's simply hell, and it can't continue. now there are some people who are naturally very thin. no problem with that. but i am very tired of models. they make me feel like i am never ever going to be good enough. the thing i love probably most (this very industry) is making me crazy; making me hurt myself & my health. something needs to be done, because i know i am not the only one.

i enlisted cassidy, from bisous mon amour;. i've followed her for quite a while now, and i knew a little of her backstory. here's her words on the matter:

"do admit that the fashion industry is really triggering for me. I have loved and adored fashion from a very young age, it's my passion, and I have chosen it as my ideal career path. However, I noticed in my eating disorder, my love for fashion was twisted into my love for the ideal body type that the fashion industry worshipped. Thinness was associated with glamour. I fell in love with the rail-thin models and their uncanny, protruding bones more so than the clothing they were sporting. I was obsessed with the women who would strut themselves on the catwalk, wearing thousand dollar clothing, and sporting interesting hairstyles and intricate makeup. It reached a point where I didn't even look at the clothes, just at the models. I would compare my body to their bodies and I would criticize any model who was bigger than I or any of her fellow co-workers.
During treatment, I avoided fashion and runway shows. My eating disorder was associated with such things and I didn't want to trigger myself when I was so vulnerable. But driven by curiosity, early in my recovery, I looked at a runway show. I was overwhelmed with jealousy, sadness, compassion, and sympathy. There is no doubt in my mind that most of the runway models engage in eating disorder related behaviors, self-starvation, and have poor and distorted body image. With my new found insight which I acquired from countless hours of therapy and group-sessions, I began to see fashion models for what they really are. Instead of idolizing their bodies which I deemed as perfection, I saw young, fragile girls with sallow cheeks and clouded eyes. They looked so sad in the blinding spotlight of the catwalk, like children who have lost their way. I can only began to imagine what it's like having everyone around you telling you what to look like, how much you should weigh, and who you should be. Is it worth giving up your integrity and morality in order to make a living? I used to think so. But now I know it's not. I'd rather be broke living on welfare than conform to the modeling industry's standards. As a model, you have no voice. If you do, you make no money, you book no jobs. You're just a doll that people throw about, you have no soul. You're just a pretty face and everyone judges you not for who you are, but what you look like.
I disagree with everything the modeling industry is. I despise how the modeling industry is tied into the fashion industry. It's an ugly business, promising hopeful young teenagers and women fame and wealth if they change how they look. I used to want to model when I was in middle school. I remember never feeling good enough as I browsed countless runway shows, admiring and envying those cadaverous women. In my ignorance, I glamorized their lifestyles. I began to associate emaciation with beauty. And later on, I measured my ideal beauty with my self worth. Which I later learned that what I look like doesn't reflect what I deserve and who I am inside. Although I have gotten better, it's still difficult for me to look at runway shows or do anything fashion related. For a while after recovery, I avoided shopping and clothes I liked because I felt uncomfortable and insecure in them. But now, I'm beginning to realize that I can't change how I'm supposed to look or be. It's inevitable. And I've come to the understanding that the longer I avoid accepting myself, the more insecure I will come. I don't want to live my entire life in fear. I don't want to fear food or feel uncomfortable in my own body. That isn't life- that's torture.
Acceptance is probably one of the hardest thing anyone could do, whether they struggle with an eating disorder or not. But it's worth every battle, every tear, and all the effort and obstacles. I have yet to fully accept my body and who I am, for it's a long process that I have no doubt will take many years. Although it may seem unachievable, it's possible. I know many people who have completed that journey and possess self-confidence that I can only dream about. These are the people I admire most. These are the people that are the epitome of beauty. It's interesting how those who don't measure up to society's or the media's perception of beauty, but are confident and secure in their own skin, are the most beautiful. In my eyes at least. As a perfectionist, I have learned perfection is unobtainable by any human being. Even fashion models are not perfect. Everybody has flaws and quirks. These imperfections are what makes us unique and what set us apart. Can you imagine if perfection existed? Can you imagine how boring it would be if everyone had insipid personalities and bodies?
As a survivor of Anorexia, heed my words when I say self-worth is not the same as beauty. There are those who believe that to be true, and I can only hope they soon are enlightened by the truth. I have suffered in order to acquire this insight. Listen to what I have to say, for the price I have paid is costly.

Remember, you are beautiful because you are your own person.
  Cassidy                                "

I couldn't put it any better.. Thank you so much Cassidy.

So that's it. Now you know a little more about me and my opinions. I'm so tired of hating myself. Please, can we end it?

(on a side note, i gained 10 followers in one day. wow guys, thank you.)